What follows is a reply to the first ever Bob Crotan post. He announced his presence in the politics section of Craigslist and we’ll be hearing from him again shortly.
I’m posting the reply after the jump because it’s just too long to post here. You probably won’t make it to the end of this.
new york craigslist > all apartments
Reply to: hous-1018247732@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-02, 6:57PM EST
HUGE CAVE FOR RENT
I am renting one cave, zero bedrooms and zero bathrooms, in lovely West Chamsford Long Island. This area is known around the world for its caves but this particular property is like nothing I have ever seen before! Know that.
The cave is about 400,000 cubic feet in volume and can probably be subdivided (we can discuss that later). I can say with confidence that heat and hot water are included due to the abundance of active hot springs. Please also know that this is a pre-war cave with extensive granite. They do not make them like this anymore!!
******MANY LUXURIOUS STALAGMITES******
To visit to my cave: Drive your car (or van) down 495E into Long Island. Take the exit that says “Shadmoor Rd” in Chamsford and follow the road as it turns to mud. Do not be alarmed. Continue driving until the road physically terminates in a dense swamp. Walk west (toward the sun if it is setting) until you see a large stone cave. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS IS NOT MY CAVE, BUT IN FACT ANOTHER CAVE. I am using it as a landmark. Do not enter this cave as I am to believe that it leads directly to the molten core of the Earth. When you see this other cave, take a right and continue walking until you see a similar stone cave except with more shapely formations. This is my cave. It COULD be yours.
****NOT HAUNTED****
This is a once in a lifetime chance to have your very own Batcave (please be warned that this cave does contain literally thousands of bats).
Email me now!!
new york craigslist > manhattan > barter
Reply to: sale-997092250@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-17, 7:54PM EST
Hey everyone out there, I’m in need of some help. I am a freegan, which – for those of you who may not know – means I do not condone paying money in exchange for things, including and especially food. You know how people download music for free off the internet? I just take that one step further and only eat garbage. Goto freegan.info for more freegan info and let me know if you’re interested.
Now this is all fine, except I was born with a severe heart congenital heart defect that requires 100 mg injections of Efoxhitol daily, and one of the central parts of the freegan lifestyle is not dying. I’ve tried a number of various organic herb and root supplements but I’m finding that my heart rate has been slowing considerably (about 15 bpm right now) and my skin is turning grey. The fact is that I need my medicine.
So I am asking anybody out there with access to Efoxhitol and a number of clean syringes to please throw them away so I can find them when rooting through your garbage. Alert me to the location of your trash and I will be there as soon as possible. If you are a pharmacist with regular access to these drugs, maybe we could do an exchange where I throw away some money and a prescription and you find them in the garbage, and then you throw away some carefully dosed out Efoxhitol and I find them in the garbage.
EDIT: Since I’ve posted this, I’ve been getting a lot of responses from people who just aren’t attuned to the way freeganism works. I did not choose this lifestyle, it chose me. Telling me to just buy my medicine is literally like telling a black person to get new skin.
new york craigslist > politics
Reply to: comm-984331272@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-07, 7:51PM EST
Im ognna start posting my thougt s here on the politics part since i managed to steal some wifi from a satelite so basically:
some bakcground about me: My name is BOB CROTAN. i am a freespritied american with the blood of probably a thousand generations of american heritage coursing thru my vanes. Boys like me been around way longer than this earth and I do NOT use fiat american KKKurrency* and never will because i live in a houseboat in Pennsylvania and I only barter tings with local people or let them use my firing range, B CROTAN FIRING RANGE RIGHT THROUGH THE FOREHEAD ALSO ITS A DISTILLERY.
I GOT IN TROUBLE LAST YEAR FOR LIGHTING A FOREST FIRE TO GET BACK AT THE LIBERAL ELITES AND THEIR ENVIRONMENTALISM.
PLus My friend Enol told me that a bunch of peoples houses burned down because of it but if you buld a wooden house next to a forest it sounds like you are asking to get your house burned down. I livein a fiberglass houseboat in the middle of a lake filled with water. Zero of those things can burn down. Evertyone else is lviing in the Wood Age while I am in the FIBERGLASS AGE.
I WIll get back at you later with some more stuff.
bob crotan
RIGHT THROUGH THE FOREHEAD SHOOTING RANGE, THE ONLY ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA WITHOUT ANY KIND OF LICENSE
* full disclosure i am a mbmer of a KKK that i started
new york craigslist > domestic gigs
Reply to: serv-914234329@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-11, 9:12AM EST
As science has proven in the last year, electrons are everywhere. Because they are so plentiful, they are a cheap source of energy and thus are the most common way of powering machines. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electricity). However, they are extremely dangerous. High powered electrons can easily slice through our genomics and mutate our cells, creating giant tumors. Recently, I have successfully rid my living space of all electrons. I have gotten rid of all the electrical wiring in my apartment and caught all of the errant electrons floating in my home. I stored them in a mason jar, which I then buried many, many feet under the ground and then detonated with high explosives.
Because I no longer have electrons, I have been attempting to power my appliances with alternate forms of energy. STEAM, I have realized, is the safest and most effective form of energy because it is based from water, which is what life comes from. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutron_moderator). Thus far, the only appliance of mine that I have been able to use steam for is my iron. I am looking for a fully accredited Steam Engineer (preferably with a Masters Steam Engineering from a top-50 engineering school) to convert my home into a fully-functional steam home. This includes appliances as well as lighting, as I currently live in complete darkness. Ultimately, I wish to have my electron-heavy arteries replaced entirely with microscopic tubes pumping gallons of scalding, energy-rich steam through my body. This would be ideal.