Dregs List

new york craigslist > casual encounters

Reply to: pers-1028257453@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-09, 8:49PM EST

LOOK I try to pick up girls on craigslist and every time i get a response i check open my email andsurely its some FAT CHICK. Fucking Jelleo rolls and stretch marks looking like osme kind of 3d map. i am writing this personal add to tell all the fat chicks on the internet to stop emailing me. JSUT STOP. assume that your keys are candy corn and eat them. hehea. better yet eat nothing ever again and get skiny or die trying.

DEAL WIITH IT.

. i work at LENSCRAFTERS. we don’t even let girls like you into the store. you shouldnt be allowed to see cuz your so ugly! If you get glasses you take a look in the mirror and you go blind again cuz that mirros gonna explode and all the glass flies in your eyeballs. IT HAPPENS. then you come back to the store and talk all ugly CUZ YOU ARE UGLY.

When I take a lady to ground round i can’t be seen with her if shes fat cuz i have got to keep up appearences. just becuz you don’t give a fat butt about your fat butt looking like the macys thanksgiving day parade. STAY OUT OF MY LIFE.

I do not want to get your emails so stop SENDING them. Seriousyl fat people emails are always clogging up my inbox, they take like 40 GB cuz their so pictures are so fat. I DO NOT WANT YOU IN MY EMAIL SO IF YOU ARE READIN G THIS AND YOU ARE FAT THEN STOP. Send this to all your other fat friends (YOU HAVE LIKE 50) with your fat disgusting fingers so they will know never to contact me (I know you all get together and eat from pig trofs).

FUCK

If you got all these fat parts nad they arent your titties or your pussylips then just dont email me. DO NOT.

tite_jeremy_212@hotmail.net

What follows is a reply to the first ever Bob Crotan post. He announced his presence in the politics section of Craigslist and we’ll be hearing from him again shortly.

I’m posting the reply after the jump because it’s just too long to post here. You probably won’t make it to the end of this.

Read the rest…

new york craigslist > all apartments

Reply to: hous-1018247732@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-02, 6:57PM EST

HUGE CAVE FOR RENT

I am renting one cave, zero bedrooms and zero bathrooms, in lovely West Chamsford Long Island. This area is known around the world for its caves but this particular property is like nothing I have ever seen before! Know that.

The cave is about 400,000 cubic feet in volume and can probably be subdivided (we can discuss that later). I can say with confidence that heat and hot water are included due to the abundance of active hot springs. Please also know that this is a pre-war cave with extensive granite. They do not make them like this anymore!!
******MANY LUXURIOUS STALAGMITES******

To visit to my cave: Drive your car (or van) down 495E into Long Island. Take the exit that says “Shadmoor Rd” in Chamsford and follow the road as it turns to mud. Do not be alarmed. Continue driving until the road physically terminates in a dense swamp. Walk west (toward the sun if it is setting) until you see a large stone cave. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS IS NOT MY CAVE, BUT IN FACT ANOTHER CAVE. I am using it as a landmark. Do not enter this cave as I am to believe that it leads directly to the molten core of the Earth. When you see this other cave, take a right and continue walking until you see a similar stone cave except with more shapely formations. This is my cave. It COULD be yours.

****NOT HAUNTED****

This is a once in a lifetime chance to have your very own Batcave (please be warned that this cave does contain literally thousands of bats).

Email me now!!

new york craigslist > manhattan > barter

Reply to: sale-997092250@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-17, 7:54PM EST

Hey everyone out there, I’m in need of some help. I am a freegan, which - for those of you who may not know - means I do not condone paying money in exchange for things, including and especially food. You know how people download music for free off the internet? I just take that one step further and only eat garbage. Goto freegan.info for more freegan info and let me know if you’re interested.

Now this is all fine, except I was born with a severe heart congenital heart defect that requires 100 mg injections of Efoxhitol daily, and one of the central parts of the freegan lifestyle is not dying. I’ve tried a number of various organic herb and root supplements but I’m finding that my heart rate has been slowing considerably (about 15 bpm right now) and my skin is turning grey. The fact is that I need my medicine.

So I am asking anybody out there with access to Efoxhitol and a number of clean syringes to please throw them away so I can find them when rooting through your garbage. Alert me to the location of your trash and I will be there as soon as possible. If you are a pharmacist with regular access to these drugs, maybe we could do an exchange where I throw away some money and a prescription and you find them in the garbage, and then you throw away some carefully dosed out Efoxhitol and I find them in the garbage.

EDIT: Since I’ve posted this, I’ve been getting a lot of responses from people who just aren’t attuned to the way freeganism works. I did not choose this lifestyle, it chose me. Telling me to just buy my medicine is literally like telling a black person to get new skin.

new york craigslist > politics

Reply to: comm-984331272@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-07, 7:51PM EST

Im ognna start posting my thougt s here on the politics part since i managed to steal some wifi from a satelite so basically:

some bakcground about me: My name is BOB CROTAN. i am a freespritied american with the blood of probably a thousand generations of american heritage coursing thru my vanes. Boys like me been around way longer than this earth and I do NOT use fiat american KKKurrency* and never will because i live in a houseboat in Pennsylvania and I only barter tings with local people or let them use my firing range, B CROTAN FIRING RANGE RIGHT THROUGH THE FOREHEAD ALSO ITS A DISTILLERY.

I GOT IN TROUBLE LAST YEAR FOR LIGHTING A FOREST FIRE TO GET BACK AT THE LIBERAL ELITES AND THEIR ENVIRONMENTALISM.

PLus My friend Enol told me that a bunch of peoples houses burned down because of it but if you buld a wooden house next to a forest it sounds like you are asking to get your house burned down. I livein a fiberglass houseboat in the middle of a lake filled with water. Zero of those things can burn down. Evertyone else is lviing in the Wood Age while I am in the FIBERGLASS AGE.

I WIll get back at you later with some more stuff.
bob crotan
RIGHT THROUGH THE FOREHEAD SHOOTING RANGE, THE ONLY ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA WITHOUT ANY KIND OF LICENSE

* full disclosure i am a mbmer of a KKK that i started

new york craigslist > domestic gigs

Reply to: serv-914234329@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-11, 9:12AM EST

As science has proven in the last year, electrons are everywhere. Because they are so plentiful, they are a cheap source of energy and thus are the most common way of powering machines. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electricity). However, they are extremely dangerous. High powered electrons can easily slice through our genomics and mutate our cells, creating giant tumors. Recently, I have successfully rid my living space of all electrons. I have gotten rid of all the electrical wiring in my apartment and caught all of the errant electrons floating in my home. I stored them in a mason jar, which I then buried many, many feet under the ground and then detonated with high explosives.

Because I no longer have electrons, I have been attempting to power my appliances with alternate forms of energy. STEAM, I have realized, is the safest and most effective form of energy because it is based from water, which is what life comes from. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutron_moderator). Thus far, the only appliance of mine that I have been able to use steam for is my iron. I am looking for a fully accredited Steam Engineer (preferably with a Masters Steam Engineering from a top-50 engineering school) to convert my home into a fully-functional steam home. This includes appliances as well as lighting, as I currently live in complete darkness. Ultimately, I wish to have my electron-heavy arteries replaced entirely with microscopic tubes pumping gallons of scalding, energy-rich steam through my body. This would be ideal.

No replies.

new york craigslist > small biz ads

Reply to: serv-914176702@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-10, 11:37PM EST

We just hired a major marketing firm to increase business at our Financial District used jewelry shop, and we all agreed that the best way to get people into the store is to hire wretched street creatures to hand out flyers to uninterested passersby.

THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!

We are looking for individuals between the ages of 55 and 75 who would be willing to hand out our flyers and/or wear a sandwich board sign (we simply cannot afford today’s huge overhead costs of pole acquisition and construction).

Our ideal employee would have deep, sunken eyes that are permanently glazed over in a semi-unconscious stupor. Qualified candidates would have horrible methmouth and/or constant white flecks in the corner of their mouths from nonstop jaw smacking. You should have 3-4 years of experience in complete homelessness and preferably a lifetime of defeat registered on your ashen face.

Proficiency in Microsoft Excel 2007 is acceptable but also wholly irrelevant.

There is no room for advancement, and the only benefit is having a place to go into the morning to keep from dropping dead.

Pay: Lunch.

No replies.

new york craigslist > event calendar

Reply to: comm-900194935@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-30, 11:54PM EDT
ALL HANDS ON DECK

Deck expo 2007 is finally here! A little late, sure, but there is no better place to meet and mingle with Tri-State decking retailers, installers, and manufacturers!!

THE JACOB JAVITZ CENTER
5:00 AM TO 8:00 AM, THIS SUNDAY, 11/2

COME TO DECK EXPO 08: “DEXPO 08″

-THE LATEST IN DECK TECHNOLOGY: “DECKTOLOGY”
-The flattest finishes
-Wood, multiple kinds
-20mm pegs: still better than 19.5mm?

-MEET THE DECK GIRLS:
-IRENE
-MOLLY

-Get your deck signed by 9x world Deck-Off winner Tony Ursal

“I WILL REALLY BE THERE.”
-TONY URSAL.

-A PREVIEW OF 2009: “THE YEAR OF THE NAIL”

-How decks will help win the war in IRAQ

-12 NEW DECK COMPANIES TO LOOK OUT FOR IN 2021!
-Deck MGMT CO
-Deck LTD
-Deck CO.
-Deck LTD, CO.
-Deck MGMT LTD, CO
-Henry’s Decks
-John’s Dex
-BED, BATH, AND DECK
-Dexter’s Deck
-Deckster’s Dex
-The Deck Store
-Home Depot

-WIN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY MATERIALS OUT OF WHICH YOU CAN BUILD A DECK WITH YOUR OWN TIME AND LABOR

-Several other things

No replies.

new york craigslist > manhattan > apts by owner

Reply to: hous-887058891@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-20, 9:14PM EDT

Hello I am the owner of a Laser Tag arena in Times Square and I have built a 220 sq foot apartment within the arena that enables an average person to live with ease. It has one bedroom, one bathroom, and a small kitchen. No windows or anthing cuz it is directly in the middle of the Laser Tag arena but $600 a month cannot be beat in the neighborhood!

PLEASE NOTE that the apartment is truly within the Laser Tag arena so it becomes a part of the field of play. A lot of guys take laser tag very seriously and we don’t want like people getting in the way of customers so you may OCCASIONALLY find yourself forced to participate in combat. Hostage situations, prisoner swaps, things like that. Not a big problem when you consider the DEAL you can get on this place!

Please do not reply if you have a pacemaker or are otherwise adverse to lasers.

You also can not own any magnets cuz they screw with the lasers.

Dogs are okay but no cats as I have found that lasers make them very skittish.

A DEAL NOT TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE ELSE IN MANHATTAN!

Close to 1,2,3,N,Q,R,W trains! Literally as much laser tag as you could ever want in your life! For a price that cannot be beat!

Replies:

Read the rest…

new york craigslist > volunteers

Reply to: comm-878268302@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-13, 10:14PM EDT

Hey Im looking for videos of dudes getting their hands cut off on youtube. i need ths because i am researching dude getting their hands cut off for my high school sneior project and i cannot get anytone i know to let me cut their hands off.

STRAIHGT CHOPPED!

i know you are saying cut your own hand off then, then you can make a video of that and you can graduate. i already cut one of my hands off when i was little trying to make a sandwich and if i did it again there wouldnt be nobody to hold the camera.

It can be anything. Moslem dude getting his hand cut off for stealing a dorito. Skateboarder gettin his hand cut off after he fell real hard onto a cactus. Guy gets bit buy a big spider and needs to get his hand cut off but they put it on youtube.
Othe r things im researchin

-Slow motion assassinations
- Application of enormous facial tattoos (forced)
- Army of Scorpions fighting an armmy of wasps
- Bloodmobile accidents

Lmme know if you can helP!

-ALFONS