JOHN DEERE JS46 LAWNMOWER, RUNS LIKE NEW (possibly haunted) – $30

new york craigslist > long island > for sale/wanted > farm & garden

Date: 2011-01-11, 11:03PM EST
Reply to: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

LIST PRICE: $500
ASKING PRICE: $30 OR BEST OFFER

Features:
-Only 2 months old
-Easily adjustable handlebars
-Durable, rubber-tread wheels
-Side discharge, deflector, mulch cover, rear bag
-22 in. cutting width blade

FULL DISCLOSURE:
While I was mowing my lawn a week ago I accidentally ran over and killed a den of probably eight or nine infant voles. I have gone ahead and powerwashed the sinews and little vole bits out of the blades. You will not find a better bargain anywhere else for this mower, but you must be willing to accept the possibility that the engine may be haunted by a collection of phantom voles. If this vehicle is indeed haunted, which it may not even be, the haunting is most likely a LIGHT one (gentle veering off-course, oddly high-pitched engine noises, nearby flowers wilting, lawnmower actually increases grass length) due to the fact that infant spirits do not have unfinished business and therefore are not vengeful or wrath-filled. Further, all animal souls lack original sin so they mostly go to heaven right away anyhow. However, since I am the one who ended these voles, I am fairly confident that EVEN IF they were to haunt someone, I would be the only target. And as I have two small children in the house and a lhaso apso, I do not want to risk these spirit creatures turning on the vehicle and tormenting my family.

Please contact within for details.



Replies


To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

Hello
I would like to remove from your home the weapon to kill a mouses.
I live in Huntington could send me your address and phone number to contact you
Thanks a lot.
Elias


To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

Interested in haunted lawn mower….please call…[number removed]


To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

I would like to see this machine can you call me at [number removed] my name is Tony


To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

if this is serious Ill come and get it right now 30$ cash. I am a new father and something like this would be a blessing(thus negating the curse).

James [last name removed]
please call meĀ  [number removed]

To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

IS IT STILL FOR SALE? IF SO PLEASE CALL [number removed] ( THANK YOU FOR THE DISCLOSURE I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR THEM EITHER WAY) …ARTIE

2 Responses to “JOHN DEERE JS46 LAWNMOWER, RUNS LIKE NEW (possibly haunted) – $30”

  1. eugene woodburn

    If you’ve already sold the mower great, otherwise I’m interested. I’m in Leonardtown, Maryland. will pay all shipping.

    Reply
  2. Mike Lynch

    Ha, awesome. And if things don’t work out with all the above commenters/respondents, I’ll buy the lawnmower. I’m in Peru. You pay shipping.

    Reply

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