dregslist

new york craigslist > long island > for sale/wanted > farm & garden

Date: 2011-01-11, 11:03PM EST
Reply to: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

LIST PRICE: $500
ASKING PRICE: $30 OR BEST OFFER

Features:
-Only 2 months old
-Easily adjustable handlebars
-Durable, rubber-tread wheels
-Side discharge, deflector, mulch cover, rear bag
-22 in. cutting width blade

FULL DISCLOSURE:
While I was mowing my lawn a week ago I accidentally ran over and killed a den of probably eight or nine infant voles. I have gone ahead and powerwashed the sinews and little vole bits out of the blades. You will not find a better bargain anywhere else for this mower, but you must be willing to accept the possibility that the engine may be haunted by a collection of phantom voles. If this vehicle is indeed haunted, which it may not even be, the haunting is most likely a LIGHT one (gentle veering off-course, oddly high-pitched engine noises, nearby flowers wilting, lawnmower actually increases grass length) due to the fact that infant spirits do not have unfinished business and therefore are not vengeful or wrath-filled. Further, all animal souls lack original sin so they mostly go to heaven right away anyhow. However, since I am the one who ended these voles, I am fairly confident that EVEN IF they were to haunt someone, I would be the only target. And as I have two small children in the house and a lhaso apso, I do not want to risk these spirit creatures turning on the vehicle and tormenting my family.

Please contact within for details.

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Replies

To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

Hello
I would like to remove from your home the weapon to kill a mouses.
I live in Huntington could send me your address and phone number to contact you
Thanks a lot.
Elias

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To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

Interested in haunted lawn mower….please call…[number removed]

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To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

I would like to see this machine can you call me at [number removed] my name is Tony

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To: sale-ssfwv-2156038746@craigslist.org
Subject: re: John Deere JS46 Lawnmower

if this is serious Ill come and get it right now 30$ cash. I am a new father and something like this would be a blessing(thus negating the curse).