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new york craigslist > all community

Date: 2010-11-22, 12:04AM EST
Reply to: comm-xnxzd-2073463991@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

The MTA is moving you forward! In addition to our subway station flyering and text message alert systems, we have also started reaching out to the cragslist community to spread the latest news in New York City Transit.

Please bookmark this post. And then find next week’s post and bookmark that one too.

Here’s a look at the latest news from this week, NOV 22 2010:

- The MTA is proud to announce that all human station agents have been replaced with the new MTAMate automated information system. A series of callboxes at each platform will allow passengers to immediately contact our automated helpline, which has been carefully programmed to simulate the surliness and unintelligibility of a real MTA station agent. The system will be online by 2022.

- G Train service has been indefinitely suspended for signal repair so that the tracks can be torn up and the tunnel can be filled with concrete. We apologize for the inconvenience.

- The Z train has been closed down permanently due to all the screwdriver stabbings.

- The MTA is also proud to announce the new FriendFare program. This temporary offer will reduce the price of one-way fare to the Friend price of $3.33. Please note that after a trial period of 3 weeks, the the one-way fare will revert back to the original price of $8.00.

- A, C, and E service has been permanently terminated due to a sick passenger.

- The 4, 5, and 6 trains have been canceled in both directions because that’s where we’re storing a bunch of old filing cabiners. However, the MTA will be offering a complimentary sidewalk-based alternative.

- The 2nd Avenue Subway (completed on time and under budget in 1979) will be open once a few more finishing touches are taken care of.

- WEEKEND SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: The V, Q, and N trains will be running on the 6 line in Manhattan and on the 4 line in the Bronx and on the CSX freight lines in Western Pennsylvania.

- The front and rear portions of each train car have been declared permanent holdover space from NYC’s crowded homeless shelters and experimental psychiatric wards.

- The MTA’s website (mta.info) now has an updated Lost and Found section. (Please note, to accommodate the servers required for the website, all 7 train service has been indefinitely suspended.) (Please also note, the B line train that disappeared last week is not listed on the lost and found website. For more information, please contact the NYPD Missing Persons Unit.)

- As always, just leave your trash wherever!
That’s all for now from the MTA – New York City Public Transit. Moving you forward!