new york craigslist > services
Reply to: res-859616046@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-29, 12:18PM EDT
OK, so I lost my job at the pet store recently so I don’t have health insurance, but I am almost positive that there is something wrong with me. Ever since I got hit in the torso by that Buick three days ago, my abdomen and pelvic regions have been hurting really badly. I went on WebMD and cross checked my symptoms on Wikipedia and Wrong Diagnosis, and I am almost 100% I have uterine fibroids as a result of being hit by the Buick.
Pelvic pain? Check.
Lower abdominal fullness? Check.
Reduced bladder capacity? Check.
Frequent bladder problems? Check.
Lower back pain? Check.
That is five symptoms out of eight, according to WebMD. The only ones I am missing are related to menstruation, but I would not have those because I am male. I have also been experiencing some heavy bleeding, huge bruises, and a cracked pelvis, probably as a result of the fibroids pressing against the muscle and bone regions where the Buick ran into me.
If you are a surgeon with experience removing uterine fibroids and are willing to do some pro bono work, or if you can find me a job at another pet store, please contact me immediately.