new york craigslist > barter

Reply to: sale-843579762@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-16, 7:48PM EDT

Alright so I am a (former) Lehman Brothers broker. The truth is that I don’t really know what I did there but I am real good at Excel spreadsheets and apparently ruining the economy. The point is that I have accumulated a little under 4.5 million shares of stock and I need to get rid of them and some other stuff I have bought over the years.

My Soho loft is pretty much packed with stock, so is my Water Street condo and my summer apartment in the Upper West Side. I have live-in girlfriends at each of these places and I can’t stand to lose any of them, so I am DEFINITELY a motivated seller.

I am trying to get rid of the following things:

- All 4.5 million shares of stock, perfect for a paper airplane fleet, wallpapering, you name it.
- A series of Porsche 911 Turbos painted to match the color of Skittles
- Bottles of wine apparently owned by Plato (I might have gotten ripped off???)
- A houseboat in Long Island Sound with a firing range on it.
- The original Zapruder film (rare!)
- I can also tell you stories about eating at some really amazing and famous restaurants (Daniel, Per Se, Nobu, and more)

In retrospect I probably should have saved some money or maybe worked for a decent company but the past is unfortunately behind me and the future is crushing down on me like 210,000 pounds of paper.

Make me a reasonable offer and we’ll talk!

Mark

Replies:



Subject: Bartering 4.5 million shares of Lehman stock for ANYTHING YOU CAN GIVE ME (SoHo)
To: sale-843579762@craigslist.org

Dude, your ship is sinking fast.
Hope you can swim……
The good times have came and gone for you, and at the expense of so many people who you people at Lehman Brothers have SCREWED !!!

I will give you a better deal than you have given to others
and probably better than you deserve !

I will offer you 4.5 million pounds of used toilet paper for your 4.5 Million shares
Pound for Pound the used toilet paper has a higher value !
SuchaDeal …… and as I said, better than you deserve

Oh yeah, there is one caveat, you must aquire it from my SEPTIC TANK !

FYI
Your stock closed Monday at $0.21
Waste paper is at a PREMIUM
please view the article in
New York Times
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F40717FC3B54117A93C7A9178ED85F448485F9&scp=5&sq=price%20of%20toilet%20paper%20per%20ton&st=cse

After viewing this article you will note that Toilet paper is woth more than your stock.
So my friend you see what comes around goes around.
And as they say ” Shit Happens to those deserving it. ”
So wanna make a deal ?
Better hurry, tomorrow your stock may not be worth Shit !
Although…..perhaps that’s not true ,
I ought to check the price on manure.

Subject: Bartering 4.5 million shares of Lehman stock for ANYTHING YOU CAN GIVE ME (SoHo)
To: sale-843579762@craigslist.org

how much for the stock

Subject: Bartering 4.5 million shares of Lehman stock for ANYTHING YOU CAN GIVE ME (SoHo)
To: sale-843579762@craigslist.org

May be interested in the car, can you provide me with more details??